A Different Kind of Loss
by stopthenrewind
Summary: You never even got the chance to say goodbye. Jalex undertones, after the wizard competition.


**Summary: **You never even got the chance to say goodbye. Jalex undertones, after the wizard competition.

**Author's Note: **Seriously, somebody needs to buy WOWP from Disney so Jalex would still stand a chance.

Again, the rules are simple. _Don't like, don't read._ (:

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**A Different Kind of Loss  
**_© xJamey_

You _won._

You can't believe it. You actually _won. _You proved yourself worthy of having full wizard powers to keep _forever and ever._

You stare straight ahead, still astonished by what just happened. Then your last thought finally hits you.

Full. Wizard. Powers.

To KEEP.

_Forever and ever._

Wide-eyed, you look down at your hands (which are trembling like crazy; you have never felt this shocked or this happy in a long, long time) and is awestruck by the huge ball of fire that erupts from them, and you are reminded of something, and someone's voice echoes through your exhausted brain:

"_I've got more power than you can ever imagine."_

And the memory gives you a sudden, exhilarating thrill; you know it, you feel it, you agree with the voice: you are now a full, actual wizard, and you…you have more power than you can ever hope to have.

With a small shriek of joy, you jump and twirl into the air, loving the feel of the wind in your long, tangled curls and the overwhelming feeling of happiness it gives you. Considering you never even _wanted _to have full wizard powers in the first place, you're amazed by the sense of independence and thrill you feel, and you've never been this proud of yourself, and for one brief moment, you just close your eyes and cherish the feeling, and you just _know _that this is definitely the happiest moment of your life.

When your feet touches solid ground, the first thing you notice is Justin, standing a few feet away, dressed in a battle suit identical to yours (and though you know you won't be caught dead wearing a suit that makes you look like a Power Ranger, you have to admit that Justin doesn't look half-bad), and he's just watching you. You smile, and start walking towards him–you can't wait to tell him what happened, and you can't wait for him to smile and tell you he's proud of you. Because even though you act like what he says is unimportant, Justin telling you he's proud of you will be the icing to this perfect moment, because really, that's all you really ever wanted to hear him say.

"I never imagined how great this would feel," you exclaim as you approach him with a wide grin, and you stop a few feet away, looking up at his face eagerly, waiting for him to give you the biggest hug, so this moment of happiness will finally be complete.

But as soon as you take a good look at him, your face falls, and the magic is broken; whatever you expected to see on his face–pride, happiness, contentment–this isn't what you see. Instead you see hurt, and confusion; and the disappointment in his blue-grey eyes startles you–and all the happiness you felt a minute ago fades, to be replaced by a hollow feeling, a kind of dull pain in your heart you never thought possible. What is this feeling?, you wonder, as you stare back into his anguished eyes. You've never felt this kind of pain before, and you sure as hell don't like what it's doing to you.

"Congratulations." Justin says, and it's not the tone you want to hear; his voice–you notice something different about it. It's hoarse, it's cracking, and…and you've never heard Justin sound like this before, so defeated, so hurt, so withdrawn. And the hole in your heart becomes bigger as you stare at him, and a lump grows in your throat as you realize…you're affected. Justin's loss is your loss, his pain is your pain. "See? I told you you were ready." And he looks at you with so much disappointment in his eyes, and you're overwhelmed by the emotions you're feeling as you realize the reason behind his pain, and you just want to reach out to him, to hold him, and tell him everything's going to be all right. You want to apologize…this is everything he's ever wanted. And you took it away from him.

"Justin–" you begin, and you find you're at a complete loss for words for once in your life; you aren't good at this, at consoling other people who are hurting, because to be honest, you never really seem to care. But you know all that's just an act, because you're afraid of showing your vulnerable side. But this time it's different. This is Justin, your brother, and despite everything, you love him, and you don't want him to hurt this way.

"Alex," Justin murmurs, cutting you off, and when you look at him, you know he understands what you're trying to say–what you _can't _say. "It's fine."

And that's when you feel it: the prickling behind your eyelids, the feeling of a faint burning in your eyes, and you try to fight it–because you can't cry in front of Justin, he'll never let you live this down–but you can't help it. You're touched by his words; here he is, hurting, his ego bruised, with a huge feeling of disappointment in himself weighing him down, but he still finds the guts to tell you that everything's going to be okay. He's reassuring _you _that _he'll _be fine. And the look in his eyes brings on the onslaught of tears fighting to still over your cheeks any minute.

You want to tell him–_anything_–to stop him from feeling that way, when your dad (you almost forget he's around) runs up, and for a minute, you are confused. What is your _dad _doing here?

"Quick! You need to do the spell _now,_" he pants, and at his words, everything falls back into place. Right, right. The spell. Right.

"Um, right. Okay, um…" Your voice trails off, and you frown in confusion–what are you supposed to do? What spell should you use? "But…I don't know what to do." You stare blankly at your father, who stares just as blankly right back, and you realize he won't help you, he can't. But then you remember, Justin's right here, he can help you–of course, Justin. You need Justin.

"Justin, help me," you say, turning to him, touching your forehead nervously; your brain's exhausted and right now you just want everything back to the way they used to be. "What spell do I use?"

He frowns. "Why would I help you?"

And you're stung at his words.

This is the first time you remember ever feeling this way–this, this gnawing feeling in your heart that you can't explain. You thought you and Justin have an unspoken agreement, you thought you always had his back and he always had yours. Would he really let this competition come between you? You've both been through a lot together, and you've always been there foe each other and looked out for each other through the ups and downs. Why should this time be any different? It shouldn't, right? It shouldn't. Or so you try to convince yourself.

"Because you're my brother," you say softly, unsure now, and you statement comes out a question, and you hate yourself for letting your voice wobble just a little bit (you are _now _going to cry in front of Justin, _ever_). You say that because it's the only thing flitting through your mind right now. He's your brother, and he should help you. That's what you two do, right? There's constant fighting, constant teasing…but in the times that matter you know you can count on each other–that's a Justin-and-Alex thing, it's patented, it's _your _thing, how can Justin forget? "Look, I-I'm sorry you didn't–"

"I'm your brother?" Justin's voice comes out suddenly bewildered, and you frown at him–what the heck is he talking about–

Wait.

_Forget._

Your eyes widen in surprise as you stare at Justin's confused face, feeling what feels like a thousand emotions all at once. Justin's blue-grey eyes stare right back at you, and these is a certain blankness in them, like he's withdrawn–like he's standing _right there, _two feet from you, and it feels like he's a million years away, like–like he exists from a different lifetime. For a moment, you feel confused–Max has disappeared, and you should be next, shouldn't you? You're the second child, _you _should be the one that's about to disappear, _not _Justin. You're the one who shouldn't lost her memory first, not him. What is going on?

Then something flashes in your mind–that flaming ball that erupted from your bare hands. Somehow, by gaining your full magic powers, you're not affected by the spell anymore. But you don't feel happy, you don't feel relieved, and instead you feel an enormous amount of guilt. You can't believe that just a few minutes ago, you felt like the happiest person on earth, and now…this is turning out to be your worst nightmare.

You stare at Justin, at his blank expression, and a million things flash in your mind all at once: you and Justin, playing in a sandbox as kids; you and Justin chasing each other in a playground, Justin pushing you on the swings; you and Justin, slow dancing at your Quinceneara after he and the dance instructor switched back their bodies; you and Justin, telling each other that you'll always be there for each other…and while you're relieved that these memories have not faded (because these are memories you know you'll treasure forever), a lump rises in your throat, and your eyes want burn worse than ever, when you realize that you don't deserve full wizard powers…_Justin _does. And (your eyes are on fire now) you know _he _should've won, he deserves it way more than you do. You don't have a clue on what you're supposed to do, and the only person who can help you is standing right there, and he doesn't remember who you are. And knowing that he's literally the only one you have left…you feel, for the first time in your life, heart-wrenching, agonizing pain, a kind of burning in your heart, in your throat, in your eyes, and without warning, the tears spill over your cheeks, but this time you don't care anymore that you're crying in front of Justin, because you're crying _for _him, you're crying because he's left you, you're crying because you've never felt more alone.

"No…no, no," you mumble, your voice cracking as you glance at your clueless father, then back at the brother who doesn't know you, staring deep into his eyes, willing him to look back into yours and remember everything with one gaze. "Justin, please. Please. You can't leave me here." And you're frustrated as he just stares at you, his expression unchanging, and you just want to grab his shoulders and shake him, to just let out all your frustration, and guilt, and annoyance, and disappointment in yourself all at him. "I'm Alex. I'm your little sister." You watch him for any sign of recognition, but there is none, and that's when the tears really overflow–he just _has _to remember, he has to, you think in desperation; and for the nth time you wish Justin had won instead of you. And you just want Justin to come back, you want him to come back to you, you _need _him, you've never needed anyone as badly. As you stare at him with burning eyes, you find yourself saying things to him, things you've never said before, things you've kept deep within your heart because you're afraid of anyone knowing, _especially _Justin–but this, this is different, and you find yourself crying and pouring your little hear out, feeling more heartbroken than you've ever been. "I taunt you, and I tease you, and I make your life miserable but you love me anyway." And you know, deep in your heart, that this is true.

He frowns at your words–"you love me anyway"–and your heart's breaking when you realize – he _doesn't _love you anymore. And the words are pouring out of your mouth before you can stop them.

"You're everything I've ever wanted to be," and your voice is trembling, and you just want to run at Justin and cry yourself to sleep in his arms. "I'm jealous of how–how smart you are, and how kind, and how nice." And you know you're seconds away from losing him, and your voice cracks when you say, "Please don't leave me here," as if that will be enough to make him stay.

He stares at you for a moment, and you just stare right back, trying to read the expression in his eyes, something you've never seen before, and it sends a strange tingle down your spine. "I'll never leave you," and though there's still a hint of confusion on his face, he's never looked at you so seriously, so intensely, for as long as you can remember, and such a powerful wave of relief washes over you at his words, and your eyes are burning worse than ever, but this time, you're _happy. _Justin said he'll never leave you, you're not alone. And the emotions are swirling over you, and you realize, that knowing Justin will never leave you even though he hasn't got a clue who you are, gives you a more overwhelming feeling of happiness than winning a wizard competition ever will.

"I don't know who you are," Justin continues, still looking at you with that expression you can't even begin to comprehend, "but…I believe you."

That's it, you can't take it anymore; at Justin's words, you rush towards him, throwing your arms around him, holding on to him as tightly as you can, not caring that he doesn't know you, but just wanting to hold him as close as you can, wanting to just feel his presence, reassured that whatever happens, Justin will always be there. And when you feel his warm arms encircle tightly around your waist with no hint of reluctance or hesitation in his touch but just a strong, firm sense of familiarity, you fight hard to keep the smile off of your face, because you never thought you'd be this happy to be in your big brother's arms.

You pull away, brushing away the moisture off your cheeks, and fighting off the tears still threatening to fall any second. "Okay," you say, and you try to pull yourself together, knowing you're slowly running out of time, "what spell do I use?"

You look up at him, and you expect to see his geek thinking face on, his eyebrows knitting in concentration, his eyes deep in thought, and even though you'd rather go to school on time than have anyone find out, but you just find him very endearing that way.

But no, Justin's looking at you, still looking lost, his eyes a blank once more. "W-what's going on?" he stutters, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach at his words, at his unsure tone, because you've never heard Justin like this, and you're terrified. "I-I don't know the situation–"

And you're not hearing anything straight anymore, you can't concentrate on his words, you can't think straight, because you saw it, you saw the whirling black vortex, and all thoughts fly out of your mind–all you can think about is the vortex, the vortex that took Max away, took your baby brother away from you, the vortex that's coming to take Justin away, too. And no, you can't let that happen – they can't take Justin away from you, they can't, he's the only one you have left. His presence, his strength, his courage–it keeps you strong, it keeps you from giving up – and no, no, no, they just can't take him away–he's your _everything. _And desperately you clutch at your heart, afraid of what's happening, afraid of what you're feeling, afraid of the heart-wrenching pain that's tearing your heart into a million tiny pieces. You need Justin, And desperately you clutch at your heart, afraid of what's happening, afraid of what you're feeling, afraid of the heart-wrenching pain that's tearing your heart into a million tiny pieces. You need Justin, you _need _him, you belong with him, you can't be away from him–and the hot tears are streaming down your face now, and you hope, you hope that Justin will look into your eyes and see how much pain you are in, as if that'll be enough to keep him with you. And you watch the vortex come closer to an unsuspecting Justin, and you just want to reach out to him, to pull him towards you, to keep him with you; you need to feel his warm arms around you, holding you close, assuring you that everything will be all right. There's so much you haven't told him; you haven't told him how much you love it when he teases you, how you appreciate the little things he does for you just because, how you're glad to have him always by your side when it counts, how despite everything, you'll always consider him your hero. And you've only just realized how much you need him in your life just when he's about to be taken away.

Justin's being sucked by the vortex, and you can only watch in horror, feeling more helpless than you've ever done in your life, and you want to do something–_anything_–but your mind's a blank, you can't think; and your heart–your heart's breaking, and you scream Justin's name, and your breath's coming in short, rapid gasps. Your heart's a mess, and your knees are shaking so much you feel like you're going to collapse–but you don't care, you need Justin, _you need Justin._

The maze echoes with a loud, anguished "NO!" just as Justin gets sucked into the vortex and disappears forever.

And you just stare, just stare dumbly at the sport where he disappears, a trembling hand clutching at your racing heart.

You never even got the chance to say goodbye.*

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_I do hope I was consistent with the movie somehow. This is my second and probably last Jalex oneshot that's based on the WOWP movie ('cause I just loved it really bad), but I'm sure I'll be back with more Jalex stuff hopefully soon. :D And again, I apologize for any typos; if you see any, please point them out to me so I can edit this. And please review. :)_


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